solitude

I have been thinking a lot about solitude lately. Almost every Christian "how to" book on discipleship and your personal Christian walk stresses the importance of solitude. I can't count how many times I have been challenged to incorporate solitude into my life and been given sheets of paper with a description of what to do on a personal retreat: going away by yourself for three days and two nights at least once a year to spend time in solitude. Or how many sermons and devotional talks I have heard about Jesus' prayerlife, the way he went away for hours to a solitary place to be with the Father. And I wonder - how do you do it in the real world? Did Jesus find time daily or did he have crazy days, too, on which he was grateful to snatch five minutes to pray?
As a single it was easy to withdraw on a daily basis, to find the time and the space to be still. Then I got married and my time and space was no longer my own. :) And now, with two little boys who demand my attention all day long...goodbye solitude! I often think of Susanna Wesley who would cover her head with her apron for a few minutes of stillness in the midst of caring for her family. And I wish I lived in the days when aprons were a standard part of a woman's outfit. Well, maybe not. But it is strange how my need for solitude has increased now that I have less opportunity for it.
And I am thankful for my wonderful husband who really supports me in my quest for stillness and takes care of the kids (usually during their naptimes :) ) once a week so that I can get away for a few hours. I bumped into another young mom with a 10 month old on my last "day off" whose husband is so busy that he has just 15 minutes a day to play with his son. She said she never has any free time and has to take her little guy everywhere with her. I am glad that the boys (and I) are that important to David that he intentionally makes time in his days for us. (Not saying that the other guy's family is not important to him!)
And I am grateful for those afternoons of solitude that help me refocus and reenergize me to face all the challenges and joys of motherhood. And marriage. And life in general.