Let your light shine

The chanting of the monks at our village temple just across the street had been going on all day. Now the drums started beating, too. This was the second day of chanting. I hear the drums twice daily, once in the early hours of the morning and once at around 4pm. For me, they serve to mark time but also as my personal call to prayer. Prayer for Jesus' light to shine in this darkness.

I asked my house helper what the occasion was and she said it was the Festival of Bread. People bring rice, bread, and other offerings to the temple for their deceased loved ones, so that they do not go hungry. And the spirits are appeased.

Several months later it is the beginning of Buddhist Lent. During the next few weeks, there will be no weddings or parties. Again the chanting can be heard throughout the day. I watch my neighbor return from the temple. She is wearing a beautiful sinh (traditional skirt) with an intricately embroidered sash across her shoulder. She is carrying the silver bowl with which she brought her offerings to the temple. As a woman, she may not pass items on to the monks directly.

The 4 o'clock drums pick up their rhythmic beating as I hang up our laundry to dry in the hot sun. 'Jesus, show yourselves to those who are seeking you. Help us be your hands and feet, help us carry your light into this darkness.'

Will you pray with me?

After 8 years here, I am still in the learning phase when it comes to culture and way of life. Part of it is a deep distrust towards foreigners due to over three decades of teaching. It is subtle as people are friendly and smile a lot but can still be felt in the wary questions they ask you. Asking what I want, why I'm here, why I'm talking to them,...Part of it is the way urban society has changed drastically over the past years. The tight and natural bonds of village life are no longer seen in a normal neighborhood of the capital city. Neighbors might not really know each other or be willing to help each other out. And maybe they are also distrustful of each other? Part of it is also due to culture, not wanting to lose face or be embarrassed. So it's easier to just stick to yourselves and not say anything that might put your own country and people in a bad light.

Just last week I learnt, that if you want a job, it's good to have money. Because the job is not given to the most qualified but to the one who will pay the most to get that job. For many, this means leaving their homes to move to other provinces (where no one really wants to go) as it's easier to find jobs there (because no one really wants to go there).

A few weeks ago, the 6 year old daughter of a friend was very sick and given a dubious diagnosis and only a 50% chance of survival. She recovered. Only to be pushed down a flight of stairs by a bigger student at her school. She lost consciousness and came away with a severe head injury, was taken to the hospital by the teachers and only when her mother came to pick her up at school was she told of the accident. The teachers and school refused to take responsibility even though there are obviously not enough teachers to warrant a safe environment for the kids. So she's now at a different school with less kids and more teachers.

Today, I drove by a traffic control point where a motorbike with two people on it had been stopped. The controller was kicking the motorbike wanting the driver and passenger to get off. Both were wearing the required helmets but they are sure to be found wanting for some other offence and have to pay up.

I think that is what has struck me these past few weeks. An underlying sense of utter helplessness. Behind the smiles and laughter and seemingly peaceful people there is much hurt and pain and disappointment and abandonment. The system seems random and always against you and there is no one to fight your cause. You have to be on your guard and it's hard to trust others because you never know who will betray you or cheat on you.

So how can we be countercultural here? Building His kingdom with values that are opposite of the way things are done? How can we function when the only way to function seems to be to adapt to culture?

I have been convicted lately, of how my choices, even in little things, affect the world around me. The plastic wrapper I throw in the trash here might well end up in a fish belly or on the ocean floor. Every day, I have to make choices, big ones and little ones. Sometimes it means making sacrifices - time, money, comfort - to choose the right thing. But, if not at least for the sake of my children, I want to try my hardest to be willing to make those sacrifices. Because I care about the kind of world they will live in. To go against the flow, against what others do and say. Because it's what He did.

rejoice

With Dylan I am currently reading 'Catching their talk in a box', the life story of Joy Riddenhof. I had never heard of her before yet she is one of the first, it seems, to travel all over the world and record programs in various dialects and languages, producing records that were then given to many many people so they might hear the Good News.

Apparently, whenever she ran out of money or supplies or had to deal with difficulties of any kind, she would say: "Let us rejoice! Now we will see how God will take care of us." And she would run to the door and wait expectantly for someone to bring her whatever she needed at that time. Which always seemed to happen and come true for her.

I admire that. My tendency is to despair, then try and figure something out on my own, then get angry at everyone for the predicament I am in, then rack my brain for more ideas on how to get out of this predicament. And then, I might turn to God, begging Him to please please help me. Never do I rejoice.

The other day, I said to David:"If you want to buy a second car, you should get yourself a paying job." It was intended to be humorous but it stuck with me and as I pondered I was reminded of Matthew: 'Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.'

At times I get tired of this life - of living on a budget, of feeling indebted to others. I get tired of money being an issue, not necessarily just for me personally but for the work we want to do as well. I get angry, at times, for the seemingly 'wasteful' way some people can afford to live. And wish everything could be redistributed. And I could be in charge. :)

But there it is: 'Seek first His Kingdom'. I don't usually see this as the privilege it is. We don't have to worry. We can be as carefree as the lilies of the field. We can rejoice. Because we are in the right place and I have never lacked anything.