solitude

I have been thinking a lot about solitude lately. Almost every Christian "how to" book on discipleship and your personal Christian walk stresses the importance of solitude. I can't count how many times I have been challenged to incorporate solitude into my life and been given sheets of paper with a description of what to do on a personal retreat: going away by yourself for three days and two nights at least once a year to spend time in solitude. Or how many sermons and devotional talks I have heard about Jesus' prayerlife, the way he went away for hours to a solitary place to be with the Father. And I wonder - how do you do it in the real world? Did Jesus find time daily or did he have crazy days, too, on which he was grateful to snatch five minutes to pray?
As a single it was easy to withdraw on a daily basis, to find the time and the space to be still. Then I got married and my time and space was no longer my own. :) And now, with two little boys who demand my attention all day long...goodbye solitude! I often think of Susanna Wesley who would cover her head with her apron for a few minutes of stillness in the midst of caring for her family. And I wish I lived in the days when aprons were a standard part of a woman's outfit. Well, maybe not. But it is strange how my need for solitude has increased now that I have less opportunity for it.
And I am thankful for my wonderful husband who really supports me in my quest for stillness and takes care of the kids (usually during their naptimes :) ) once a week so that I can get away for a few hours. I bumped into another young mom with a 10 month old on my last "day off" whose husband is so busy that he has just 15 minutes a day to play with his son. She said she never has any free time and has to take her little guy everywhere with her. I am glad that the boys (and I) are that important to David that he intentionally makes time in his days for us. (Not saying that the other guy's family is not important to him!)
And I am grateful for those afternoons of solitude that help me refocus and reenergize me to face all the challenges and joys of motherhood. And marriage. And life in general.

elliot

Elliot has already outgrown his size 74 clothes and has moved on to size 80. I guess these are European sizes but I'm just so amazed at how he seems to grow overnight. Iwatched Dylan grow a lot more consciously - now there is a lot more to keep me busy.

But I am so thankful for both of them! :)

Well, gotta go pick up Dylan from Pre School.

early morning impressions

I'm supposed to be doing the bookkeeping but thought I would spend these moments on something more enjoyable.
This morning I went to buy some bread for breakfast and I love driving through town in the early mornings, watching people get ready for the day. Our town is gradually developing from a sleepy little place to a bustling 'city'. You see kids in their graceful school uniforms walking in little groups or riding their bikes to school. Vendors at food stalls setting out plates and dishes. Men or women just standing or squatting in front of their house watching the traffic and those passing by. A new day. It makes me happy to be here.

This is Dylan's third week in Pre School and though he didn't want to go last week he was happy to go again this morning. I'm glad he's enjoying it.

Elliot is standing more and more on his own though he's still afraid when he notices that he's not holding on to anything. And he's starting to communicate more and more, says "Brrrr" when playing with a car and yesterday I taught him to say "moo" as we have cow paintings (painted by my mom) hanging in the kids' room.

Read this this morning:
"Jesus did not come to bring peace but the sword, not nightgowns but the armor of God. The kingdom of God is not a matter of words but of power, a source of transformation and information. The spiritual life is simply life itself lived with a vision of faith. Any spirituality claiming the name Christian must resonate with the life and teaching of the Master." Brennan Manning

Simply living life itself lived with a vision of faith. So simple and yet so profound and so difficult to put into practice.

first week

Well, our first week with our new friends has been full. We ended up having to change around a lot of the schedule, due to David's new teaching schedule. Instead of five nights, he teaches one class in the morning which means that he is gone almost all day on the 3 days that he teaches. But I do prefer that over having to handle 5 nights on my own.

The boys being sick and Dylan not going to school and me having to handle a lot on my own made me wonder at times what I had gotten myself into. But now the boys are well again and the more we all settle into a routine the easier it will get.

Next week we all start with language classes and our 'normal' lives. I do hope we will get into a 'normal' life quickly as this week has been tiring and left little time for David and myself. The good thing is that they all love kids and get along well with our kids and are willing babysitters. So I'm hoping we'll get some regular date nights again.

Dylan has really hit his phase of testing his limits. His favorite word is 'No', no matter what we say and ask him to do and it's been tiring getting him ready and trying to get him to cooperate. But this too shall pass and he's still such a great guy and lots of fun.

Elliot now has 6 teeth and has developed a very strong will and temper. But he too is a sunshine and makes me laugh a lot. I love being a mom and watching them develop and being free to take it all in and really watch them grow.

Anyways, time for bed!

some pictures

Elliot with his grandmother. He really enjoyed her!

At the waterfall. The path was partly flooded cause it had been raining so hard and we had to wade through the river to get to the waterfall at the top.

Dylan's first day of school with his "school cone", a German tradition.

My mom, trying to get Elliot to smile for the photo.

changing seasons

The season here is changing from rainy season to cool and dry season and apparently this change causes fevers and colds. At least that's what our helper told me. Dylan and Elliot both have been/are sick this past week and both David and I haven't been feeling 100% well either. Last night at the fellowship many others were sniffling, too.

But not only the weather has been changing but a new season of our life here has begun as well. With all the goodbyes we have had to say to friends and to my mom who flew back to Germany last Thursday there have also been a few hellos to people that have just moved here. And tomorrow we'll be saying hello to our very first new staff/team members that will be with us for one year. A huge change for us after being here on our own for almost three years.

Dylan has begun his new season at Pre School. Letting him go that first morning was a strange feeling. My little guy has grown! But he's definitely enjoying going to school and never wants to come home. He seems so proud to be there now with his own hook for his backpack and little toothbrush.

This is a new season for me, too. The four hours that Dylan is at school in the morning give me more free time. These past weeks have been busy with my mom visiting, getting ready for our newcomers and caring for two fussy, sick boys. I've had little time to reflect or just be. But now I'm enjoying having time for a second cup of coffee, time to reflect and to read my Bible in solitude while Elliot is asleep. Without having someone crawl all over me, trying to grab my Bible from me. :) And I'm enjoying having extra time for Elliot.

These changing seasons have brought a lot of tears. It's been hard letting go. But I know there is good in it all, too. And in it all Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever.