marriage

We spent Thursday and Friday talking with the parents of one of our Day Care Center kids. The mom had asked us to talk to her husband who had left her two months ago. She wanted him back and wanted to know why he had left and if he was intending on coming back.
So first we met with her to hear her side of the story and then asked him to come to hear his side.

On Friday we had to sadly realize that he is not willing to come back and wants a divorce saying his wife won't change and that they have no future together.

Many of their problems seem to be due to cultural differences as they are both from a different ethnic group but a lot of it just comes from normal relationship difficulties that everyone experiences - different expectations and ways of seeing things, different personality issues, different thoughts on how to deal with finances,...

Most of these are things we are lucky enough to know about and think about and consider before we get married. We have marriage preparation weekends and talks with our pastor before we get married. But here they just don't know. And don't have anyone who can help them think through things like this. And don't know how to deal with the challenges other than walk away and get a divorce.

Hearing them both talk about their marriage I have thought about how vulnerable marriages and families are. Here there are so many sad stories of heartache, of unfaithfulness, of husbands (and wives) leaving their families never to be heard of again. I have been realizing that a family unit and the unit between a husband and wife really is the basic unit of society and that if we have strong families we have a strong country and society.

But it's hard to have a happy and fulfilled marriage and takes a lot of work, a lot of talking, a lot of compromise. I'm thankful when I think of the many great examples we have that show us what marriage can be like. And not only that but we have Jesus and the daily opportunity to come to him for forgiveness and strength and joy and understanding - everything that we need to live godly lives, including godly relationships.

And then I look at the people around me. There are so many odds against their having a happy marriage - cultural differences, a culture that doesn't openly talk about feelings, strong family ties and influence that play a huge role even after marriage,...a lot to deal with.

I am thankful for David and the five years we have been married. And I am thankful for the help we have received to start off the right way even though we are far from perfect. But I guess we are perfectly happy. I am thankful to know that David is committed to me through the good and the bad days. And I am thankful that we have Jesus to help us through the difficult times.

I hope and pray that we will have more and more opportunities to speak into peoples' lives and to demonstrate what marriage can be like in spite of all the imperfections.

So here's to the future and our next five years together!

more pictures

Elliot painting
Look at me!
Porch picnic
Dylan bumped his head and needed something to cool it.

rainy season

Rainy season is in full swing now which means that the weather is hot and humid with temperatures up to 42 degrees Celsius. It rains almost once daily and in contrast to the last few rainy seasons that I have experienced the rain actually cools down the temperature and brings some relieve.

We wanted to have a picnic in our yard for dinner the other day but our plans changed due to the downpour so we had on the porch instead. Thought it's time for some updated pictures of the boys anyway!

To show a little bit what rainy season is like - this is a big tub that is adjacent to our porch and which probably served as a water storage. We filled it up with dirt and planted some roses and other flowers in it. If you look closely you can see the amount of water that was pouring down at that time.
More rain, it's hard to convey.
Elliot sitting on the kitchen counter eating lychees while I prepare lunch. One of his favorite activities at the moment. It's lychee season!! And shows in his digestive system. :)
Dylan after his bath. He came running and said "Take a picture of me!"

growing

I met a lady from New Zealand on the street the other day. At the end of our conversation she asked me when the Baby was due. I said in September.
"Well that's a long way off. Are you having twins?" was her reply, obviously alluding to what she thinks is a big belly..."No, it's my third" was my curt answer.
But acutally I'm happy to be looking more and more pregnant! :) Throughout my pregnancies I have been worried and anxious and so now that I can feel Baby kicking around more and more I am starting to relax although my fears of losing this Baby during pregnancy will never fully go away. Part of it is due to miscarrying our first Baby before we had Dylan, an experience which shattered my naive approach to pregnancy and childbearing. Now I don't take anything for granted, even less when I glimpse the grief and heartache others have faced losing not just one Baby but miscarrying every Baby they have conceived or losing the Baby in their last month of pregnancy.
I'll never understand though I embrace these losses as part of life and a chance to draw closer to our God. And I rejoice over every kick and item of clothing that no longer fits!

So here is a picture of my belly, taken yesterday at almost 21 weeks: