It's the height of rainy season. There have been steady rainfalls on most days, interwoven with sunny hours. Everything in the house and outside feels clammy. It is our wettest month of the year.
The last two days the boys (with Alana joining them most of the time) have spent almost all their waking ours digging in a mud hole. They have gone from discovering a long lost Ancient Egyptian grave to making tar to building walls to defending their castle with mud bombs. They jump into puddles, are covered in mud and are discovering the great outdoors. I love to listen in on their conversations while at play, catching a glimpse of the magical world of their imagination. I love how they interweave what we have been studying at school with all that they do in the great outdoors. How it becomes an integral part of who they are right now. I love the growth of their relationships with each other, seeing how they interact and how their personalities shine through.
I often dream of an old farmhouse, lots of space, green hills, changing seasons, living off the land, a closer connection to nature and a more simple and quiet and peaceful life, away from the noise and busyness and smells of the city.
So I am thankful for rainy days and mud holes and the freedom the kids have to be outdoors, to connect with the here and now. It may not be an old farmhouse and my garden so far has not yielded much fruit. But this is the day that the Lord has made and it is a gift to be enjoyed and received and savored. This is the here and now, my present reality. And I am grateful.
Note: This was written about two weeks ago. I wanted to add a picture of muddy faces but you'll just have to imagine those for now. :)
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Like a thief in the night
Last week, somebody climbed up to our balcony at night, entered into our house through the screen door, walked into our bedroom and stole, among other things, my laptop and David's super new phone that he had saved up for.
This is the first time we have had things stolen from this house and the first time ever to experience a break-in. That in itself is something I am so grateful for.
I am also grateful that we all slept soundly, that none of the kids woke up and stumbled into him (or her) on their way to the bathroom. We have since heard that the incidents of armed robbery are increasing and for all I know there might have been a gun in our house that night. Things could have been a lot worse.
Still, to know that someone came into our 'holy of holies', our bedroom, one of the most private rooms in a house and walked right up next to our bed and helped himself (or herself) to our possessions has brought along a wealth of extremely varied emotions and thoughts.
Since then, almost a week has passed. I am learning to let go. Let go of the monetary loss. Let go of work that has gone lost. Let go of memories in the form of pictures and videos. It is, after all, just a thing and I won't tie my heart to a thing. The memories are stored. They are part of me. The work can be redone. The thing can be replaced eventually.
Letting go of that 'feeling' has been harder. At times I'll climb the stairs and think of this stranger's feet touching the exact same steps. I look at the screen door that stood ajar in the morning as I woke up and remember those first moments of realization. I replay all I remember of the last week in my mind and try not to blame or suspect anyone.
It is amazing how this incident can rob you of all joy and take the wind out of your sails. Just when things were starting to look up after a challenging start back to life here it's like a blow to your stomach that leaves you struggling for air.
Again I have that choice. To not be robbed again. I may have been robbed physically and materially. But I will not let myself be robbed of joy as well. I don't want to be governed by fear.
The words of Jesus come to my mind:
"Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the householder had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have watched and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect." Matthew 23:42-44
Jesus will come like a thief in the night. Our feeling of security and safety led to slackness on our part. We got less careful and a little lazy. Every day I have that choice of how I want to live my life. I want to finish strong, not become complacent. Not rob myself of joy by focusing on all that could be better. I want to be ready and watchful and mindful and go through each day with an open heart and open eyes and open hands. Live each day fully. Filled with a lot of laughter. And ice - cream.
This is the first time we have had things stolen from this house and the first time ever to experience a break-in. That in itself is something I am so grateful for.
I am also grateful that we all slept soundly, that none of the kids woke up and stumbled into him (or her) on their way to the bathroom. We have since heard that the incidents of armed robbery are increasing and for all I know there might have been a gun in our house that night. Things could have been a lot worse.
Still, to know that someone came into our 'holy of holies', our bedroom, one of the most private rooms in a house and walked right up next to our bed and helped himself (or herself) to our possessions has brought along a wealth of extremely varied emotions and thoughts.
Since then, almost a week has passed. I am learning to let go. Let go of the monetary loss. Let go of work that has gone lost. Let go of memories in the form of pictures and videos. It is, after all, just a thing and I won't tie my heart to a thing. The memories are stored. They are part of me. The work can be redone. The thing can be replaced eventually.
Letting go of that 'feeling' has been harder. At times I'll climb the stairs and think of this stranger's feet touching the exact same steps. I look at the screen door that stood ajar in the morning as I woke up and remember those first moments of realization. I replay all I remember of the last week in my mind and try not to blame or suspect anyone.
It is amazing how this incident can rob you of all joy and take the wind out of your sails. Just when things were starting to look up after a challenging start back to life here it's like a blow to your stomach that leaves you struggling for air.
Again I have that choice. To not be robbed again. I may have been robbed physically and materially. But I will not let myself be robbed of joy as well. I don't want to be governed by fear.
The words of Jesus come to my mind:
"Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the householder had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have watched and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect." Matthew 23:42-44
Jesus will come like a thief in the night. Our feeling of security and safety led to slackness on our part. We got less careful and a little lazy. Every day I have that choice of how I want to live my life. I want to finish strong, not become complacent. Not rob myself of joy by focusing on all that could be better. I want to be ready and watchful and mindful and go through each day with an open heart and open eyes and open hands. Live each day fully. Filled with a lot of laughter. And ice - cream.
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