the frog

The frog story continues. As I was closing our front door to lock it for the night, something jumps on to ME and then lands on the wall inside our house. Turns out to be the frog. I tried to chase it outside again with a broom and by throwing a pillow at it but it only jumped from the wall to the floor and back to the wall and then sat there, clinging to the wall with huge feet. I didn't dare come to close anyway, in case it decided to jump on me again so I just left it there. Spent a somewhat restless night, always afraid of having a frog jump up onto my bed...

The next morning, I recounted what had happened to our helper and tried to describe the animal to her as I didn't know the correct word for it. Eventually I found it sitting next to the fridge where it must have spent the night and as she shooed him out with a broom with the frog screaming away again, she said "Oh, people here like eating it!"

This week, I've struggled with some discouragement. I long to be a part of this culture and society and yet there is soooo much that totally mystifies me and that I fail to comprehend. On other days, I feel more competent and at home here, feel that we are progressing well with language and building relationships. But then on other days, I feel there is so much I have yet to learn and I feel out of place and misunderstood myself. And I feel like giving up.

In the long run, I know I will never fully be like this society. I will always be different, I will never fit in completely. There will always be things I don't understand or at least have trouble accepting. And I will always have lots of days in which I fail to make myself understood. But that does not necessarily mean that I am not part of society, does it? I'll just be the odd member of it.
And if that is the only way I can be involved in people's lives here I'll gladly play that part.