online

It's amazing how dependent we have become on being online. It's our way of communicating and keeping in touch with our families and friends that are far away. And a way of reconnecting to people that we haven't seen in a while.

After many hiccups and being online for a week and then offline again for a week we are happy to be back online again as of this evening. Let's see how long it will last this time. David had to get upset on the phone with the guys from the Phone and Internet place to make it work. That's how you do it here...

David's back from his trip North and is all for moving up there in a few years. Sounds very remote and secluded but after a few years in this tourist hub I might actually crave the solitude and loneliness that comes with it. I want to go visit there some time soon.

It was so good to have David back even though it took a while for us to get used to each other again. Weird how you miss someone so much but can get angry and upset with them again after being together for just a few hours.

Tomorrow I turn 30. How weird is that. I still feel like I'm in college and 30 sounds way too old. But here I am, mother of two kids. That should remind me that I'm an adult and part of the real world...:)

I love my life with all its quirks and ups and downs and am grateful to the Father for all he has blessed me with.

the frog

The frog story continues. As I was closing our front door to lock it for the night, something jumps on to ME and then lands on the wall inside our house. Turns out to be the frog. I tried to chase it outside again with a broom and by throwing a pillow at it but it only jumped from the wall to the floor and back to the wall and then sat there, clinging to the wall with huge feet. I didn't dare come to close anyway, in case it decided to jump on me again so I just left it there. Spent a somewhat restless night, always afraid of having a frog jump up onto my bed...

The next morning, I recounted what had happened to our helper and tried to describe the animal to her as I didn't know the correct word for it. Eventually I found it sitting next to the fridge where it must have spent the night and as she shooed him out with a broom with the frog screaming away again, she said "Oh, people here like eating it!"

This week, I've struggled with some discouragement. I long to be a part of this culture and society and yet there is soooo much that totally mystifies me and that I fail to comprehend. On other days, I feel more competent and at home here, feel that we are progressing well with language and building relationships. But then on other days, I feel there is so much I have yet to learn and I feel out of place and misunderstood myself. And I feel like giving up.

In the long run, I know I will never fully be like this society. I will always be different, I will never fit in completely. There will always be things I don't understand or at least have trouble accepting. And I will always have lots of days in which I fail to make myself understood. But that does not necessarily mean that I am not part of society, does it? I'll just be the odd member of it.
And if that is the only way I can be involved in people's lives here I'll gladly play that part.

home alone

Day one of six is over. The boys are asleep, I've cleared away most of the mess and remembered to bring the bunnies some food, too. Linus, our dog, pounced on a frog that had ended up on our porch and I've never before heard a frog scream the way he did. Gave me the shivers. Now I'm free to enjoy my evening although I'm too tired to do too much.

David arrived in Phongsali safely, it went faster than I had thought. He called a couple of hours ago to say that all is well.

Hope the rest of this week continues to go smoothly. I salute all single parents who have to manage alone like this every day.

Well, I'm off to watch 'Ally McBeal'. And then sleep!

new try

I have come to appreciate connecting with people I know through their blog and I hope this blog will help some of you to connect with me. :)

I've just come back from my day (or rather hour) "off" at JOMA, a nice coffeeshop here in in town with comfortable seats and aircon. What more do you need? We have incorporated these times for me to get away for an hour or so into our schedules since last week and I really appreciate David taking care of the kids for that time. It's good to just get out of the house and have a semi private and relaxing atmosphere to get some uninterrupted reading and journaling done. It makes me feel refreshed even though it's just a short time and ready to tackle my challenges here as well as treasure the joys of it all in a new way.

At the moment, our yard is full again with around 20 kids who live in our neighborhood (more or less). Our gate keeps opening and closing as some leave and others come and some come back again. Dylan is blissfully sitting in the sandpit, digging around, while the kids play around him. He enjoys the company though at the moment he still plays more or less by himself instead of with them. :)

Elliot is curled up on our bed, fast asleep. I love these two boys - what a privilege to be their mother!