After 8 years here, I am still in the learning phase when it comes to culture and way of life. Part of it is a deep distrust towards foreigners due to over three decades of teaching. It is subtle as people are friendly and smile a lot but can still be felt in the wary questions they ask you. Asking what I want, why I'm here, why I'm talking to them,...Part of it is the way urban society has changed drastically over the past years. The tight and natural bonds of village life are no longer seen in a normal neighborhood of the capital city. Neighbors might not really know each other or be willing to help each other out. And maybe they are also distrustful of each other? Part of it is also due to culture, not wanting to lose face or be embarrassed. So it's easier to just stick to yourselves and not say anything that might put your own country and people in a bad light.

Just last week I learnt, that if you want a job, it's good to have money. Because the job is not given to the most qualified but to the one who will pay the most to get that job. For many, this means leaving their homes to move to other provinces (where no one really wants to go) as it's easier to find jobs there (because no one really wants to go there).

A few weeks ago, the 6 year old daughter of a friend was very sick and given a dubious diagnosis and only a 50% chance of survival. She recovered. Only to be pushed down a flight of stairs by a bigger student at her school. She lost consciousness and came away with a severe head injury, was taken to the hospital by the teachers and only when her mother came to pick her up at school was she told of the accident. The teachers and school refused to take responsibility even though there are obviously not enough teachers to warrant a safe environment for the kids. So she's now at a different school with less kids and more teachers.

Today, I drove by a traffic control point where a motorbike with two people on it had been stopped. The controller was kicking the motorbike wanting the driver and passenger to get off. Both were wearing the required helmets but they are sure to be found wanting for some other offence and have to pay up.

I think that is what has struck me these past few weeks. An underlying sense of utter helplessness. Behind the smiles and laughter and seemingly peaceful people there is much hurt and pain and disappointment and abandonment. The system seems random and always against you and there is no one to fight your cause. You have to be on your guard and it's hard to trust others because you never know who will betray you or cheat on you.

So how can we be countercultural here? Building His kingdom with values that are opposite of the way things are done? How can we function when the only way to function seems to be to adapt to culture?

I have been convicted lately, of how my choices, even in little things, affect the world around me. The plastic wrapper I throw in the trash here might well end up in a fish belly or on the ocean floor. Every day, I have to make choices, big ones and little ones. Sometimes it means making sacrifices - time, money, comfort - to choose the right thing. But, if not at least for the sake of my children, I want to try my hardest to be willing to make those sacrifices. Because I care about the kind of world they will live in. To go against the flow, against what others do and say. Because it's what He did.