After a few more mornings of Dylan procrastinating at the school gate and not wanting to go in and a few mornings on which he just refused to stay at school we made the decision to keep Dylan home next year. I went right to work researching various Pre School homeschooling curriculums and have now ordered a bunch of stuff which I am looking forward to receiving and unpacking once we get to Germany! :)
I feel at peace and relieved to have finally made this decision and look forward to this new role!
For Dylan and Elliot to continue to learn the local language I hope to be more free again to have our neighbor kids come over and play. We have neglected them somewhat these last few months due to busy schedules and sheer exhaustion but they are on my heart and we are often asked when they can come and play again.
Yesterday, we said goodbye to our two Germans who spent 10 months working with us. They should have arrived in Germany by now and I hope that all the things they experienced here will be a blessing to them for many years to come.
In 10 days we say good bye to two more people and then head into our final weeks preparing for our trip to Germany.
These last few weeks have been busy with a short term team, lots of things happening at the Day Care Center, and the emotional stress that I have experienced and so we are really ready for a break and looking forward to Germany. Although I suspect our time there will be busy, too. But the change of scenery will be refreshing, I am sure of that!
I have been encouraged and reminded over and over again these last few days that I do not have to be perfect - neither as a mom nor as anybody else. God alone is perfect and I am his beloved daughter and he is fully able to redeem all my mistakes and make good to come out of it all.
And so I am feeling more at peace and more hopeful than I have these last few weeks and am thankful for all that our Father gives so that we shall not want!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
things to love
There are a number of things I love about this country:
1. Addressing others as big sister, big brother, little brother, little sister, aunt or uncle. To me it creates a sense of belonging and familiarity even with strangers. And it's fun to see how it's the normal way of calling someone, even if that someone is your customer in the bank.
2. Seeing people wear pyjamas and fuzzy bunny slippers as their regular clothes and shoes.
3. The sense of community and the important role that the extended family plays. This has some downsides of course and many small family units are really struggling and are not healthy but falling apart but still I enjoy seeing the many rich relationships that people here have with neighbors and family members.
4. The beauty of nature and the abundance and diversity of fresh tropical fruits.
5. The smiles on people's faces.
6. Their enjoyment of simple things like just sitting in front of their houses for hours watching life pass by or joking around with their friends or the amusement it gives them to see us drive through a neighborhood with all four of us on a motorbike.
7. The way they are not shy about asking questions that might seem a bit personal to us coming from the West. E.g. Do you breastfeed? (Sometimes touching me right there for confirmation) Do you have a boyfriend? Did you deliver naturally? How long did you wait before you got pregnant with your second Baby? Just to mention a few...
There is a lot that is frustrating and annoying, too, but I want to leave this on a positive note. :)
In just 6 weeks we are heading to Germany and I'm very much looking forward to a change of scenery and food and people. And to meeting this little guy (yes, it's another guy! :)) who is very active and loves to kick and move around inside me.
Dylan has been doing better with Pre School but we are still so undecided about what to do next year, if it would be better to keep him home or not. Elliot would be able to join him at Pre School in May and it's so hard to know what the right decision is. But I am thankful that he is enjoying his mornings again. Still, the whole issue of friends seems to be on his mind a lot as he has been asking about some of the other families who have left or live in other parts of the country and it's hard to see how much he would like to see them at times. Having said this one of his friends is coming to see him in just a couple of weeks for just two short days. And as much as I look forward to this visit I am dreading it at the same time as it will be another goodbye for him and us to deal with.
But I guess this is just the way it is and will be for most of our lives. One reason I look forward to eternity! No more goodbyes...
On that positive note, I am thankful for a number of people who have joined us for the summer and are an encouragement and support to us. And I'm all the more thankful for four people who will come to work with us in September for 6 months to 2 years! How exciting! We will sadly miss their arrival here as we don't get back till the end of October but I'm sure they will be o.k. and coming back will be even better because of them.
So I'm thankful to be here in spite of everything that makes life here difficult.
1. Addressing others as big sister, big brother, little brother, little sister, aunt or uncle. To me it creates a sense of belonging and familiarity even with strangers. And it's fun to see how it's the normal way of calling someone, even if that someone is your customer in the bank.
2. Seeing people wear pyjamas and fuzzy bunny slippers as their regular clothes and shoes.
3. The sense of community and the important role that the extended family plays. This has some downsides of course and many small family units are really struggling and are not healthy but falling apart but still I enjoy seeing the many rich relationships that people here have with neighbors and family members.
4. The beauty of nature and the abundance and diversity of fresh tropical fruits.
5. The smiles on people's faces.
6. Their enjoyment of simple things like just sitting in front of their houses for hours watching life pass by or joking around with their friends or the amusement it gives them to see us drive through a neighborhood with all four of us on a motorbike.
7. The way they are not shy about asking questions that might seem a bit personal to us coming from the West. E.g. Do you breastfeed? (Sometimes touching me right there for confirmation) Do you have a boyfriend? Did you deliver naturally? How long did you wait before you got pregnant with your second Baby? Just to mention a few...
There is a lot that is frustrating and annoying, too, but I want to leave this on a positive note. :)
In just 6 weeks we are heading to Germany and I'm very much looking forward to a change of scenery and food and people. And to meeting this little guy (yes, it's another guy! :)) who is very active and loves to kick and move around inside me.
Dylan has been doing better with Pre School but we are still so undecided about what to do next year, if it would be better to keep him home or not. Elliot would be able to join him at Pre School in May and it's so hard to know what the right decision is. But I am thankful that he is enjoying his mornings again. Still, the whole issue of friends seems to be on his mind a lot as he has been asking about some of the other families who have left or live in other parts of the country and it's hard to see how much he would like to see them at times. Having said this one of his friends is coming to see him in just a couple of weeks for just two short days. And as much as I look forward to this visit I am dreading it at the same time as it will be another goodbye for him and us to deal with.
But I guess this is just the way it is and will be for most of our lives. One reason I look forward to eternity! No more goodbyes...
On that positive note, I am thankful for a number of people who have joined us for the summer and are an encouragement and support to us. And I'm all the more thankful for four people who will come to work with us in September for 6 months to 2 years! How exciting! We will sadly miss their arrival here as we don't get back till the end of October but I'm sure they will be o.k. and coming back will be even better because of them.
So I'm thankful to be here in spite of everything that makes life here difficult.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Through the calm and through the storm
We've been enjoying a few days off. Drove down South on Monday and crossed the border and are staying at a nice family friendly resort with pool. And doing a lot of shopping! Our main reason for coming was to bring down the huge amount of excess luggage which our Korean friends had to leave behind when they flew down here. So now all they have is here and they are all set to leave for Canada next week. It's been good to spend some more time with them before they head to the other side of the world.
We also went for another check up at the hospital and are glad that all is well with Baby. This is the first time we actually know WHAT we're expecting before the Baby is born but will keep it a secret from the rest of the world, at least for now. :)
This is my belly with and without Elliot just last week at almost 27 weeks...
It's been good to get away for a while. These past few weeks Dylan has not wanted to go to Pre School as both of his friends left the country at the end of last month. And now he misses them and doesn't want to go to school but prefers to be home and play with his brother. Sometimes his favorite teacher Sukim can get him to go in but on the days when she hasn't been around I've just taken him back home again because I couldn't stand the thought of forcing him to be somewhere he just doesn't want to be.
Living overseas I knew this would be an issue but I wasn't anticipating it to be so early on. I didn't expect that he would have to say goodbye to so many friends by the time he turns 3. Or that it would hit me so hard as well. But seeing him so lonely has been hard for me. A lot of the tears I have shed I blame on the pregnancy hormones that have taken over but some of the grief I feel I probably feel as much for myself as for Dylan. Looking back I have felt lonely most of my life and I hate that we have put Dylan into the same position by the life we have chosen.
But storms and difficult times are all part of life and "I can see a light at the end for the heart that holds on".
As we have thought and talked about how to handle this situation and weighed our options - keeping him at home at least till Elliot is old enough for Pre School, just teaching them both at home already, hiring someone else to teach them,.... - I've just been overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness. Not knowing what the best decision is and not having someone older and wiser and who has been through these choices to ask for advice has been hard. Last Fall we were at a conference and one of the seminar leaders said that God loves our children so much more than we ever could and so I hold on to that thought and hope that Dylan will get through this storm and be stronger for it. And I hope I will survive as well!
We also went for another check up at the hospital and are glad that all is well with Baby. This is the first time we actually know WHAT we're expecting before the Baby is born but will keep it a secret from the rest of the world, at least for now. :)
This is my belly with and without Elliot just last week at almost 27 weeks...It's been good to get away for a while. These past few weeks Dylan has not wanted to go to Pre School as both of his friends left the country at the end of last month. And now he misses them and doesn't want to go to school but prefers to be home and play with his brother. Sometimes his favorite teacher Sukim can get him to go in but on the days when she hasn't been around I've just taken him back home again because I couldn't stand the thought of forcing him to be somewhere he just doesn't want to be.
Living overseas I knew this would be an issue but I wasn't anticipating it to be so early on. I didn't expect that he would have to say goodbye to so many friends by the time he turns 3. Or that it would hit me so hard as well. But seeing him so lonely has been hard for me. A lot of the tears I have shed I blame on the pregnancy hormones that have taken over but some of the grief I feel I probably feel as much for myself as for Dylan. Looking back I have felt lonely most of my life and I hate that we have put Dylan into the same position by the life we have chosen.
But storms and difficult times are all part of life and "I can see a light at the end for the heart that holds on".
As we have thought and talked about how to handle this situation and weighed our options - keeping him at home at least till Elliot is old enough for Pre School, just teaching them both at home already, hiring someone else to teach them,.... - I've just been overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness. Not knowing what the best decision is and not having someone older and wiser and who has been through these choices to ask for advice has been hard. Last Fall we were at a conference and one of the seminar leaders said that God loves our children so much more than we ever could and so I hold on to that thought and hope that Dylan will get through this storm and be stronger for it. And I hope I will survive as well!
Monday, June 8, 2009
what can happen in the space of three years
Dylan is three years and three months old now and has been challenging in many ways. His favorite response is "No" to everything we want him to do (except when it comes to eating ice cream), his favorite toy is whatever Elliot is playing with at any given time of the day and he loves doing what we explicitly told him NOT to do just seconds before.
Friends of ours had a Baby boy three months ago and he is the most content and happiest little guy I have ever met - smiling and cooing and just delightful! But then, that's what people used to say about Dylan when he was just three months old, too. I still remember those days when he was happy and content and smiled a lot and I look at him now - a little man with a very strong will and who knows exactly what he wants and who really tests my patience on some days.
I must admit I've lost my temper a lot in the last few weeks and I always regret it right afterwards - or, at the latest, once I see Dylan sleeping peacefully in his bed after a long and trying day. But inbetween there are good days and many little things that remind me of why I love this kid.
And I do love him to pieces! No matter how often he brings out the worst in me.
It's been a good picture of how God loves me - no matter how trying I am, no matter how often I lose my cool, no matter how many mistakes I make, he still loves me faithfully and never loses his temper. And I never bring out the worst in him because he is only good and there is no evil in him. How amazing is that!
And so I strive to cherish even this season with Dylan because it IS just a season and will pass all too quickly. And with the help of my perfect Father I hope and pray that Dylan will look back on this time in his life and remember only happy days!
Friends of ours had a Baby boy three months ago and he is the most content and happiest little guy I have ever met - smiling and cooing and just delightful! But then, that's what people used to say about Dylan when he was just three months old, too. I still remember those days when he was happy and content and smiled a lot and I look at him now - a little man with a very strong will and who knows exactly what he wants and who really tests my patience on some days.
I must admit I've lost my temper a lot in the last few weeks and I always regret it right afterwards - or, at the latest, once I see Dylan sleeping peacefully in his bed after a long and trying day. But inbetween there are good days and many little things that remind me of why I love this kid.
And I do love him to pieces! No matter how often he brings out the worst in me.
It's been a good picture of how God loves me - no matter how trying I am, no matter how often I lose my cool, no matter how many mistakes I make, he still loves me faithfully and never loses his temper. And I never bring out the worst in him because he is only good and there is no evil in him. How amazing is that!
And so I strive to cherish even this season with Dylan because it IS just a season and will pass all too quickly. And with the help of my perfect Father I hope and pray that Dylan will look back on this time in his life and remember only happy days!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
marriage
We spent Thursday and Friday talking with the parents of one of our Day Care Center kids. The mom had asked us to talk to her husband who had left her two months ago. She wanted him back and wanted to know why he had left and if he was intending on coming back.
So first we met with her to hear her side of the story and then asked him to come to hear his side.
On Friday we had to sadly realize that he is not willing to come back and wants a divorce saying his wife won't change and that they have no future together.
Many of their problems seem to be due to cultural differences as they are both from a different ethnic group but a lot of it just comes from normal relationship difficulties that everyone experiences - different expectations and ways of seeing things, different personality issues, different thoughts on how to deal with finances,...
Most of these are things we are lucky enough to know about and think about and consider before we get married. We have marriage preparation weekends and talks with our pastor before we get married. But here they just don't know. And don't have anyone who can help them think through things like this. And don't know how to deal with the challenges other than walk away and get a divorce.
Hearing them both talk about their marriage I have thought about how vulnerable marriages and families are. Here there are so many sad stories of heartache, of unfaithfulness, of husbands (and wives) leaving their families never to be heard of again. I have been realizing that a family unit and the unit between a husband and wife really is the basic unit of society and that if we have strong families we have a strong country and society.
But it's hard to have a happy and fulfilled marriage and takes a lot of work, a lot of talking, a lot of compromise. I'm thankful when I think of the many great examples we have that show us what marriage can be like. And not only that but we have Jesus and the daily opportunity to come to him for forgiveness and strength and joy and understanding - everything that we need to live godly lives, including godly relationships.
And then I look at the people around me. There are so many odds against their having a happy marriage - cultural differences, a culture that doesn't openly talk about feelings, strong family ties and influence that play a huge role even after marriage,...a lot to deal with.
I am thankful for David and the five years we have been married. And I am thankful for the help we have received to start off the right way even though we are far from perfect. But I guess we are perfectly happy. I am thankful to know that David is committed to me through the good and the bad days. And I am thankful that we have Jesus to help us through the difficult times.
I hope and pray that we will have more and more opportunities to speak into peoples' lives and to demonstrate what marriage can be like in spite of all the imperfections.
So here's to the future and our next five years together!
So first we met with her to hear her side of the story and then asked him to come to hear his side.
On Friday we had to sadly realize that he is not willing to come back and wants a divorce saying his wife won't change and that they have no future together.
Many of their problems seem to be due to cultural differences as they are both from a different ethnic group but a lot of it just comes from normal relationship difficulties that everyone experiences - different expectations and ways of seeing things, different personality issues, different thoughts on how to deal with finances,...
Most of these are things we are lucky enough to know about and think about and consider before we get married. We have marriage preparation weekends and talks with our pastor before we get married. But here they just don't know. And don't have anyone who can help them think through things like this. And don't know how to deal with the challenges other than walk away and get a divorce.
Hearing them both talk about their marriage I have thought about how vulnerable marriages and families are. Here there are so many sad stories of heartache, of unfaithfulness, of husbands (and wives) leaving their families never to be heard of again. I have been realizing that a family unit and the unit between a husband and wife really is the basic unit of society and that if we have strong families we have a strong country and society.
But it's hard to have a happy and fulfilled marriage and takes a lot of work, a lot of talking, a lot of compromise. I'm thankful when I think of the many great examples we have that show us what marriage can be like. And not only that but we have Jesus and the daily opportunity to come to him for forgiveness and strength and joy and understanding - everything that we need to live godly lives, including godly relationships.
And then I look at the people around me. There are so many odds against their having a happy marriage - cultural differences, a culture that doesn't openly talk about feelings, strong family ties and influence that play a huge role even after marriage,...a lot to deal with.
I am thankful for David and the five years we have been married. And I am thankful for the help we have received to start off the right way even though we are far from perfect. But I guess we are perfectly happy. I am thankful to know that David is committed to me through the good and the bad days. And I am thankful that we have Jesus to help us through the difficult times.
I hope and pray that we will have more and more opportunities to speak into peoples' lives and to demonstrate what marriage can be like in spite of all the imperfections.
So here's to the future and our next five years together!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
more pictures
Elliot painting
Look at me!
Porch picnic
Dylan bumped his head and needed something to cool it.
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