marriage

We spent Thursday and Friday talking with the parents of one of our Day Care Center kids. The mom had asked us to talk to her husband who had left her two months ago. She wanted him back and wanted to know why he had left and if he was intending on coming back.
So first we met with her to hear her side of the story and then asked him to come to hear his side.

On Friday we had to sadly realize that he is not willing to come back and wants a divorce saying his wife won't change and that they have no future together.

Many of their problems seem to be due to cultural differences as they are both from a different ethnic group but a lot of it just comes from normal relationship difficulties that everyone experiences - different expectations and ways of seeing things, different personality issues, different thoughts on how to deal with finances,...

Most of these are things we are lucky enough to know about and think about and consider before we get married. We have marriage preparation weekends and talks with our pastor before we get married. But here they just don't know. And don't have anyone who can help them think through things like this. And don't know how to deal with the challenges other than walk away and get a divorce.

Hearing them both talk about their marriage I have thought about how vulnerable marriages and families are. Here there are so many sad stories of heartache, of unfaithfulness, of husbands (and wives) leaving their families never to be heard of again. I have been realizing that a family unit and the unit between a husband and wife really is the basic unit of society and that if we have strong families we have a strong country and society.

But it's hard to have a happy and fulfilled marriage and takes a lot of work, a lot of talking, a lot of compromise. I'm thankful when I think of the many great examples we have that show us what marriage can be like. And not only that but we have Jesus and the daily opportunity to come to him for forgiveness and strength and joy and understanding - everything that we need to live godly lives, including godly relationships.

And then I look at the people around me. There are so many odds against their having a happy marriage - cultural differences, a culture that doesn't openly talk about feelings, strong family ties and influence that play a huge role even after marriage,...a lot to deal with.

I am thankful for David and the five years we have been married. And I am thankful for the help we have received to start off the right way even though we are far from perfect. But I guess we are perfectly happy. I am thankful to know that David is committed to me through the good and the bad days. And I am thankful that we have Jesus to help us through the difficult times.

I hope and pray that we will have more and more opportunities to speak into peoples' lives and to demonstrate what marriage can be like in spite of all the imperfections.

So here's to the future and our next five years together!