Through the calm and through the storm

We've been enjoying a few days off. Drove down South on Monday and crossed the border and are staying at a nice family friendly resort with pool. And doing a lot of shopping! Our main reason for coming was to bring down the huge amount of excess luggage which our Korean friends had to leave behind when they flew down here. So now all they have is here and they are all set to leave for Canada next week. It's been good to spend some more time with them before they head to the other side of the world.

We also went for another check up at the hospital and are glad that all is well with Baby. This is the first time we actually know WHAT we're expecting before the Baby is born but will keep it a secret from the rest of the world, at least for now. :)

This is my belly with and without Elliot just last week at almost 27 weeks...


It's been good to get away for a while. These past few weeks Dylan has not wanted to go to Pre School as both of his friends left the country at the end of last month. And now he misses them and doesn't want to go to school but prefers to be home and play with his brother. Sometimes his favorite teacher Sukim can get him to go in but on the days when she hasn't been around I've just taken him back home again because I couldn't stand the thought of forcing him to be somewhere he just doesn't want to be.

Living overseas I knew this would be an issue but I wasn't anticipating it to be so early on. I didn't expect that he would have to say goodbye to so many friends by the time he turns 3. Or that it would hit me so hard as well. But seeing him so lonely has been hard for me. A lot of the tears I have shed I blame on the pregnancy hormones that have taken over but some of the grief I feel I probably feel as much for myself as for Dylan. Looking back I have felt lonely most of my life and I hate that we have put Dylan into the same position by the life we have chosen.

But storms and difficult times are all part of life and "I can see a light at the end for the heart that holds on".

As we have thought and talked about how to handle this situation and weighed our options - keeping him at home at least till Elliot is old enough for Pre School, just teaching them both at home already, hiring someone else to teach them,.... - I've just been overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness. Not knowing what the best decision is and not having someone older and wiser and who has been through these choices to ask for advice has been hard. Last Fall we were at a conference and one of the seminar leaders said that God loves our children so much more than we ever could and so I hold on to that thought and hope that Dylan will get through this storm and be stronger for it. And I hope I will survive as well!