Christmas

Christmas usually passes in a flurry of activities but this year was even more different than any Christmas I have experienced so far.
David was still working on December 24th, which is our main holiday, and didn't come home till 10pm that evening. I had spent all of the 23rd shopping in the city and picking up my Parents-in-law with Elliot. We got back at 1 pm on the 24th. I think I have never felt so unprepared for Christmas. I didn't even decide what we were going to eat for our Christmas Dinner till the morning of the 25th and then it all took a lot longer to prepare then I had anticipated.
Plus, I was sick, we all were, and so everything was a lot more tiring and exhausting than usual.

Nevertheless, this Christmas was special in other ways.

I found it ironic to suddenly be bombarded with Christmas decorations, trees, Santa Clauses and music in all of the shopping malls in the city of our neighboring country where I went shopping. A Buddhist country with many devout Buddhist believers and a monarchy in which the King and Queen are regarded with the utmost respect, almost worshiped, it was weird to hear "Joy to the world" playing in the department store:
"Joy to the world, the Lord has come. Let earth receive her KING."

Then coming back home to another Buddhist country where people think that Christmas and New Year are synonyms and where they put up Christmas trees after Christmas. Sunday evening we were invited to some friends' house. They had invited all their Buddhist friends for a Christmas party and some local believers put on a nativity play. It was fun to see how people responded with laughter to the anguish that Mary and Joseph must have gone through when Mary was told that she would be with child and Joseph discovered that Mary was pregnant. Maybe, because many could relate?

But what really touched me was seeing the believers doing a dance to "O come all ye faithful", to see them worshiping Jesus, the risen Christ, the King of Kings, Immanuel in difficult circumstances where their faith could really cost them their lives was amazing.

I hope and pray that many more will receive Christ as their King this coming year, here as well as next door!

On a lighter note, I've been amazed to realize how big my boys have become. Elliot is walking now, still a bit unstable but he's determined and gets back up on his feet whenever he falls over. And Dylan is a real boy now. Recently, I cut his toe nails and finger nails and was astounded at how big they have become...

This is the first year that Dylan consciously celebrated Christmas. He learned a few Christmas songs at school and loved receiving gifts. He wishes that would continue on so now he's looking forward to his birthday and more gifts. :)

So even though Christmas was hectic and exhausting and tiring, I'm thankful for the gift of Jesus and that we have reason to celebrate!

powercuts and puking boys

We've had 13 hour power cuts these last days and whenever the lights come back on in the evening I am so excited! And grateful that we have electricity almost all the time with just random cuts every once in a while. It's amazing how dependent I am on electricity for so many little things and how my daily life gets so disrupted when the power goes off.

Other than that we have been dealing with queasy tummys since Sunday. We assume it must be something we ate. The boys started threw up all Monday evening and into the night. David camped out on a mattress on the floor of the boys' room with Dylan while I camped out on the floor of our living room with Elliot. David and I both just had queasy stomachs and I am so glad we did not have to vomit ourselves. That would have been a lot worse.

Dylan was much better on Tuesday and went back to Pre School today though he did complain of a tummy ache this evening. Just hope we don't have another night like Monday. And Elliot has had a temperature and been whiny all day. But maybe it's just due to more teeth coming. I'm glad I feel lots better.

Tomorrow David leaves for meetings and will be gone till Sunday afternoon. I'm bracing myselfs for these days without him though I'll have support this time round as our intern will be staying with me and helping me with the boys. This, too, I am thankful for.

The weather has gotten REAL cold and with our Christmas tree and Christmas decorations up it does feel Christmasy, at least at home. I still marvel when I meet people who have never even heard of Christmas, even in our touristy town. A few weeks ago I went to the paper shop to buy some paper to cut out starts and the shopkeeper asked me what I was using it for. I said "Christmas" and he said "Oh, birthday." And I said "No, for Christmas!". And he said "Oh, happy new year". So that's what we settled on...

David's parents and sister are coming for Christmas which will be fun. And I get to go on a trip with Elliot to pick them up from the airport and that, too, I am looking forward to.

So there are many things to be thankful for. Even though I've had my usual ups and down these past few weeks I feel I am nevertheless content with life at the moment. Sure, there are areas in which I am not completely satisfied and that I wish I could change. But all in all I am thankful to be where I am even if it means spending an uncomfortable night with two puking boys.

This must be my third attempt at writing. I'm either interrupted by my boys needing something or waking up from naps or from my scattered thoughts that I can't seem to gather and get a hold of these days...

Elliot is now one year and 9 days old and is gradually outgrowing his Babyphase. Even though he still refuses to walk or even stand (even though he could) he has become increasingly mobile, climbing on and over furniture, up and down stairs, trying to climb out of his high chair or get on and off our bed. It's fun to see how he communicates and mimicks all we say and do. Like Dylan, he loves to dance and whenever there's music - a CD playing, a cellphone jingling, on TV or someone playing the guitar - he immediatley starts bobbing his head and moving his body to the beat. Dylan and Elliot have started dancing together and it's so much fun watching the two of them and the joy they have in music. Maybe we'll be able to start a family band some day. :)

Dylan is enjoying Pre School and learning new things daily. It's fun to hear him sing songs he's learned at school and recently he told me the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. Both he and I were excited when I finally understood what he was telling me about! And the funniest thing on Elliot's birthday was Dylan who started singing "Happy Birthday" the way they do it here with lots of clapping of hands! He didn't know the song before so he must have learned it at school, too.

Last week, I had some days of self doubt as I was confronted with some of my weaknesses in dealing with people. For a few days I felt like a total failure concerning my people skills and withdrew into my own little world, not daring to venture forth into community again. But a date with my husband helped me see it all from a different perspective and that gave me the courage to try it once again. There's nothing like people to help us face up to the truth about ourselves - both the good and bad.

happy birthday Elliot

Elliot just a few days old with my mom (Sorry, can't turn the picture..)

Dylan and Elliot looking at Elliot's new book

His first taste of birthday cake

I'm one!

My Baby turned one last Monday! I can't believe how quickly this year has gone by! It seems like yesterday that he was just a few days old and now he's almost walking and climbing all over the place. Happy Birthday, my little guy!

what's up?

It's been a while since I've had the time to update this blog. We were gone for about 10 days in October and attended a conference in the neighboring country. To save money, we decided to drive South to the capital and then take a budget airline to our final destination. The trip usually takes about 8 hours but we always seem to end up taking that much longer!
We had planned to leave at 4 am but David took three attempts to really wake up so we left 45 minutes later. The drive is beautiful along mountain roads, through villages and I'm always amazed at the huge diversity of this country. Somewhere along the way, our car started overheating though and we had to stop numerous times to let the engine cool down and to refill the water. We are so thankful that the car never stopped in the middle of nowhere but wherever there was water and helpers nearby.
After 16 1/2 hours we finally arrived and were looking forward to a bed. But the boys, after spending all day in a car, went berserk and had a wild round of wrestling and jumping around our bed. :)
The conference was encouraging and I was reminded once again why I am here and that our presence is vital. The speaker shared the story of a lady in Central Asia who stayed with a local family as her husband was out of town. The daughter of the family came running up to her and said: "Last night I dreamed of Jesus." And so they spent the rest of the evening talking about Jesus. The next morning the father said:"You didn't know you'd be coming to our house, we didn't know you were coming but Jesus knew and so he sent the dream to my daughter." Would the dream have come without the messenger? What do you think?
Our presence is vital.
The trip back took longer than 8 hours, too, as we passed a family we knew on the way who had just had an accident. So we stopped to help. By the time we resumed our journey it was already growing dark so the last few hours were spent in total darkness along windy mountain roads...Not the best conditions. But we stopped on the way to look at a brilliant sky full of stars. Amazingly clear view of the Milky Way. So beautiful!

Now we're back to our routine of teaching English and Pre School and daily ordinary life. Trying to save all the neighborhood chickens that stray into our yard from Jacob, our dog. Trying to keep the boys happy. And trying to dry our laundry even though it's been raining on and off for days again.

Elliot turns one next week. He has grown so much and is in that inbetween stage - not a Baby anymore but not quite a Toddler. He took his first small steps last Friday and has become increasingly assertive, leaving us no doubt just what he wants at any given time.

Even though life here is challenging I am thankful for the constant reminders, even in little things, that God is here, taking care of me and has a purpose.

The Shack

Read an amazing book this past week called "The Shack". The story is horrible, not horribly written, but just sad. But the main part has given me a totally new view of God - the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. A new sense of His presence in my daily life. How everything is a gift and how everything is essentially all about relationships. Allowing him into my life and entering into a relationship with him. Which will cause all of my relationships to be transformed.

Often Christianity seems to be a lot about performing and going through certain rituals, us trying to get close to God when He's already been close all along. I think in the midst of our busyness and striving to know Him better we just miss seeing Him. Because we're looking to ourselves and what we're trying to do and accomplish, all the spiritual disciplines we are performing, the hours of Bible Study and prayer. I'm not saying that it's wrong. Maybe it's just a question of our hearts' attitude.

Anyways, I have come to a new understanding of who God is and essentially it boils down to the question: "Do I really believe Him to be who He says He is?". Because though in my head I say "yes", my life often shows that I don't . All our questions about suffering and pain, our disappointment with God at times when things are hard and not going well - all of that can be answered if I really believe who God says He is and if I enter into that relationship with Him. That won't make magically transform my life into a fairy tale of blissful happiness. But it will be easier because then I'll know I'm not alone, that He is there with me and that He can use EVERYTHING for His purposes and for His glory.

READ THE BOOK! It's worth it!

solitude

I have been thinking a lot about solitude lately. Almost every Christian "how to" book on discipleship and your personal Christian walk stresses the importance of solitude. I can't count how many times I have been challenged to incorporate solitude into my life and been given sheets of paper with a description of what to do on a personal retreat: going away by yourself for three days and two nights at least once a year to spend time in solitude. Or how many sermons and devotional talks I have heard about Jesus' prayerlife, the way he went away for hours to a solitary place to be with the Father. And I wonder - how do you do it in the real world? Did Jesus find time daily or did he have crazy days, too, on which he was grateful to snatch five minutes to pray?
As a single it was easy to withdraw on a daily basis, to find the time and the space to be still. Then I got married and my time and space was no longer my own. :) And now, with two little boys who demand my attention all day long...goodbye solitude! I often think of Susanna Wesley who would cover her head with her apron for a few minutes of stillness in the midst of caring for her family. And I wish I lived in the days when aprons were a standard part of a woman's outfit. Well, maybe not. But it is strange how my need for solitude has increased now that I have less opportunity for it.
And I am thankful for my wonderful husband who really supports me in my quest for stillness and takes care of the kids (usually during their naptimes :) ) once a week so that I can get away for a few hours. I bumped into another young mom with a 10 month old on my last "day off" whose husband is so busy that he has just 15 minutes a day to play with his son. She said she never has any free time and has to take her little guy everywhere with her. I am glad that the boys (and I) are that important to David that he intentionally makes time in his days for us. (Not saying that the other guy's family is not important to him!)
And I am grateful for those afternoons of solitude that help me refocus and reenergize me to face all the challenges and joys of motherhood. And marriage. And life in general.