The first month of this new year is almost over and it seems like all the freshness and excitement that you feel prior to the begin of a new year totally deflates once the new year actually begins.
Christmas was busy, as it always seems to be, but special. On the 23rd we had a Christmas party at the Daycare Center and my highlight of that evening was watching a play that was put on by a group of local believers depicting the gospel from Creation to Christ. They did a good job and ended it all by singing a worship song. I can't convey how much it touches me seeing the believers stand up in front of a crowd of strangers praising our Father, knowing full well that following Jesus might at some point cost them their life.
The audience was interested and for many this must have been the first time that the true meaning of Christmas was explained.
We celebrated Christmas Eve with a house full of people and a bonfire outside in our yard. It is special to celebrate with people from so many different backrounds, cultures and walks of life - united because it is Christ we are celebrating. We opened gifts with the boys in the morning and just enjoyed the Christmas season.
New Year's Eve we headed downtown with the boys for dinner. They were in bed by 10pm so it was just David and me welcoming in the new year. There were no fireworks so we almost missed it...:)
I felt somewhat unsettled and unprepared for the new year. There were a number of things on my To Do list that I really wanted to get done before January 1st (like cleaning the house, writing a reading list, getting all my stuff organized) but I never got round to doing it all and so felt unsettled and unprepared, very bizarre. What difference does it make if the house is clean on December 31st or not? Or if I don't put together a reading list till February 1st? I guess it doesn't and yet every year I really just want to be ready and prepared for a new year.
And then things happen totally unexpectedly anyways and catch us off guard. We can never be fully prepared for anything. Change seems to be inseperable from my life and this year promises to be no different in that respect.
After a pretty happy start of 2010 we unexpectedly had some very discouraging days that were hard to deal with. I am continually amazed at the amount of misunderstanding that can happen, partially because everyone involved makes assumptions and just does not communicate enough. Now, after many hours of talking things over, there is hope and I guess many of the issues will be resolved and yet I sometimes wistfully dream of living on an island in the middle of nowhere with no one else to make my life complicated. Or am I the one who makes life complicated?
Yet Jesus, whose follower I profess to be, lived in community, not just with the Father but also with his friends and disciples, people he touched profoundly as he shared LIFE with them. As he shared meals and hikes from one town to the next, shared his joys and frustrations and sorrow. I am pretty sure these people were just as complicated as we are today and yet he met each one of them with love and compassion and an unbridled delight - just as much as he meets us today in just the same way. And so, as appealing as that lonely island seems to me on some days, I know that I was made for community. We were made to share LIFE with someone, no matter how hard that might be at times.
So this year I want to learn to be honest and unmasked and to share LIFE with those around me. I want my life to get messy as I get more deeply involved with others. I don't want to shrink away from conflict or complicated situations or difficulties or from baring my soul but want to embrace those as opportunities to grow. I want to be more like the one I follow, loving without holding back, showing compassion and most of all choosing joy and sharing laughter.
So come on all you lovely, messy, complicated people - lets share LIFE! Who's with me?
Oh, and to continue the update - last Monday was joyous as Dylan decided to follow Jesus, too! It was an amazing experience to pray with my son, asking Jesus to come into his life and I am still amazed to see God's spirit at work in him in a real way. I am thankful!
2 comments:
I'm with you! Life can be messy and complicated here,too... but it is so good to know that I'm not alone during my hard times. Blessings!
Thanks for sharing your feelings so openly- of course I feel the same way - often- so it's good, as I've said before, to know I'm not alone in feeling/thinking that way. And I'm with you in sharing in Life together, as messy and not-so-easy as it can be. I also hope to be more open, regardless of how people might respond. Pray for boldness and openess that comes from being grounded in Him and in Truth!
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